a sudden thinking...

i think i ed put down ba....
i feel there is no use i kept those memory to hurt myself ed....
maybe some of my friends are wonder why and what he had done???
what i can say is he dint done anything to hurt me...
just i choose to hurt myself...
maybe for others people that don't know me will feel that i'm very pity...
maybe for others people that don't know anything will feel he bullied me...
what i can said is he done nothing to me...
---------------------------------------------------------
today suddenly feel i ed put down...
cause if i keep on hurt myself will making people think that i m weak and pity...
in fact, i m not...
all this while i thought hurting myself is the best way to get rid about him...
but i think is time to change...
good luck and keep moving on....

this picture was taken when i having my college dinner....theme: masquerade...

:: peace >>> life goes on ::

the 5th times i cries because of the same movie

remember i said before in 2009 if i not mistaken...
that was my 3-4 times i watch 1 litres of tears...
this year i intro to my sabah friend to watch (i also watch it for the 5th times)
what i can conclude is i m well control compare to last time....
maybe last time i will cry until very badly but this time only certain part...
guess how about my sabah friend???
she dint even make a tears of this movie...
even my managerial math teacher also said that he cried when he watch the 2nd chap...
she really very strong isn't???
her bf told her that this movie is really very sad even he himself also cry...
maybe 10ppl who watch this also will cry but only 1 or 2 ppl wont....( i guess)
i intro this movie just want to see her cry because of movie but i m not success...
i guess is very hard for me to watch her tears...
----------------------mission failed-------------------------------

trustworthy is the most important for me...

i not sure how readers look on the past blog about something happened that i not sure...
i not sure my friends are talking/comment about me or not...
yet i still feel i m very sensitive about it...
one of my friends said: the most scary things is not ghost but is a pretended human
here i heard again "A PRETENDED HUMAN"
honestly who is the pretended ppl that he mean???
i not sure...
he was one of my important friends in my life...
PRETENDED??
are you talking about me???
or my friend in this college???
if she really pretended den i dunno...
after i heard she said she saw something only i told her on the same night wat i feel...
if she pretended, i really cant get why ???
if you say i m pretended, it means u dint trust on what had happened to me...
and you are trying to said that i m scary ppl.....
cause u feel i m PRETENDED???
i remember last time "HE" also said the same word...(PRETENDED)
fine...
what i will say is, if until i back to klang (23 jun) i dint saw u comment to explain who u mean by PRETENDED, that's it......
if u really mean i m pretended den told me why u feel that???

something happened that i not sure

yesterday night i try to sleep early so that i can wake up to do my studies,
unfortunately, i cant sleep (i know myself reason y)
den i dun wan force myself to sleep so i just wake up and do my homework...
about 4something in the morning i go to sleep....
i not sure is i m too tired, think too much or force myself to sleep...
i feel my head very pain & numb...
i cant feel myself on bed...
i try to open my eyes but is too heavy to opened it....
i hear some songs but i was wonder that time only i m the one havent sleep where the song comes from???
den i feel unwell...
i called up my god names...
den only i can feel myself on bed....
and the song stops...
in the evening,
my malay friends that very close to me told me that yesterday nite she saw something playing with her...
firstly, she thought is another friend that playing chatting in fb but she saw her very concentrate on typing in fb so is impossible...
den she thought is her illusion....
but again it appear....
she close her eyes and faster fall to sleep...
will it be "that kind of things"???
feel very unsafety...
cause my "府" being wash yesterday evening....
and this month is my exam month...
i dint go back to klang until 23 jun...
really hope nothing happened cause i always wake up study at mid night...
i cant study in the evening cause there is too much of problems...

exam phobia

erm, 1st time in the history that i wish my result more than 70 so that i can get a or high CGPA/PNGK....
honestly, i quite worry that i cant success...
what i can react to get the result is keep study to get the marks that i wish...
if i only just sit there and wish for the marks it will never get it...
while, in my new surrounding here having 2 friends that got exam phobia...
both of them will get sick when they feel stress...
honestly, i dunno how to help...
i maybe the bad result among all my friends in klang....
but at here i need to teach them...
so i need to make sure that i understand den only i can teach them....
one of them she dint understand at all about basic maths....(positive,negative concepts)
she told me that if she having serious phobia until she cant heard what we said at her left ears and fever den the next stage will be lost memory...
so what i have to do???
cant give her too much of pressure...
all the best.....

老天爷你听到我的心声。。。

下雨了，
最近天气都很热。。。
还以为自己生病了。。。
actually just now the rain not very heavy....
and i keep on saying pls rain as heavy as u can....
not more than 1 minutes, it really rain...
maybe a lot of ppl will say cheh,raining only ma...
doesn't means god hear my voice...
for me, he heard it...
is like a miracle to me...
i just said that i love heavy rain and it really from small rain to heavy rain...
it remind me of my primary moments...
as we call one of our friend as xiu yu...(cause rain god hear what she say)
xiu yu is a movie in a drama saying about she is a dragon daughter in a sea....
where she falling in love with normal ppl i think...
but i forget what name of that movie liao...miss it so much...
whatever, i know god u love me...
u sometimes is cruel to close my door of my life, but u still love me giving me encouragement for me no matter where i go....

i love God...
this is the 1st time i take my college pic...
yes, it is...
looks very poor college...
should say, yes it is...
cause our ceo gives every student rm250 every month before we get our PTPTN...hehe^^...(appreciate what we have)

心理测验take from fb....

take this from fb...feel not bad....


測測你到底有多清純？
想知道自己的氣質是一塵不染的清純，還是飽經世事后的成熟嗎？
想知道你是真可愛還是在假裝清純嗎？
一切都可以從你聽的歌習慣中體現出來，快來測試一下你的清純度有多高吧？


1.你聽歌的時候比工作的時間長嗎？
yes-跳至2 no-跳至3

2.你比較喜歡聽哪類歌？
快拍的歌-跳至5 慢拍的歌-跳至4

3.你是男性還是女性？
男性-跳至7 女性-跳至4

4.情歌是你最喜歡的歌曲類型嗎？
yes-跳至7 no-跳至6

5.你認為周傑倫的風格如何？
完美好聽-跳至6 受不了-跳至8

6.聽歌的時候，你都會把音響放到儘量大的音量嗎？
yes-跳至7 no-跳至8

7.你喜歡聽搞笑的歌曲嗎？
yes-跳至8 no-跳至9

8.你曾經，或者現在還迷戀范曉萱的兒童歌曲嗎？
yes-跳至13 no-跳至10

9.你可以說自己不是五音不全嗎（唱歌走調）？
yes-跳至11 no-跳至13

10.你經常和朋友去唱卡拉OK嗎？
yes-跳至12 no-11

11.你知道這段歌詞是哪首歌曲裡的嗎？
歌詞：“他揚起愛情勝利的旗幟，你讓我選擇繼續愛你的方式......”
yes-跳至18 no-跳至12

12.你聽過“哈狗幫”的歌嗎？
yes-跳至13 no-跳至16

13.英語歌曲中，你喜歡？
女歌手的歌-跳至14
男歌手的歌-跳至16
自己覺得好聽的，沒有特定性別-跳至17
不聽英語歌-跳至15

14.你聽外語歌曲的原因是？
喜歡歌詞-跳至17
學習外語-跳至18
聽調子-跳至16
電視劇的插曲，所以喜歡-跳至19

15.你愛聽火爆的DJ歌曲嗎？
yes-跳至16 no-跳至17

16.聽節奏感很強的歌曲時，你會不由自主的搖擺嗎？
yes-跳至19 no-跳至18

17.鋼琴曲的感覺是？
優雅-跳至21 受不了-跳至18

18.你聽過《黑色的星期天》嗎？
yes-跳至22 no-跳至19

19.你認為唱歌時穿什麽樣的衣服比較好？
暴露的-A 正常的-D 古典的-跳至20

20.你會比較喜歡關注新出的專輯嗎？
yes-跳至21 no-跳至22

21.你很還念從前的老歌嗎？
yes-D no-B

22.如果讓你創作歌曲，你會寫？
言情歌曲-C 民族歌曲-A 搖滾歌曲-B

剖析報告：

A.完全無清純感覺
你已經完全不會讓人覺得清純了，
即使是你穿上非常可愛的衣服，有著無比天真的眼睛和笑容。
不過從你身上散髮出來的氣質與自信，所有人都會感覺到，清純絕對不是屬於你的感覺。
打扮上，你喜歡前衛，喜歡流行，喜歡另類，喜歡性感，有時候也喜歡裝扮清純，僅僅因為好玩而已。
不清純并不是件不好的事，只是說明你已經徹底的成熟，完全成熟。

B.消失一半清純感覺
你屬於非常非常正常的人類，如果你的年齡在15至30歲之間的話，
你有的時候會顯示出非常清純的一面，有時候處理事情的時候有顯得各位的沉著冷靜。
你給人一種捉摸不透的感覺，他們會覺得你有的時候純潔得就像個天使，
但有時候他們又覺得你瘋狂的像個惡魔。在現在的社會交際圈裡，你這種性格是非常吃得開的好性格，繼續加油！

C.盡顯外表清純人類
說你清純，不得不說你有天生幸福的外表。
在別人見到你的時候會覺得你的靈魂和你的人乾淨透明得像個孩子，甚至被你的那種清純而吸引。
可是實際上，你的心靈只有一種沉著冷靜的成熟味道，和你的外表正好成為鮮明的對比。
你在人群中很有優勢的地方是，你可以扮演任何角色，清純或者成熟穩重是你自己的選擇，看你的想法了。

D.從裡到外都清純感覺
你是那種內心到外表都清純的人類，因為你從小就把自己保護的很好，
不讓外界的世俗侵犯了你自己的內心和你自己的性格、人格。
與其參與到複雜的人際紛爭中去，你寧可自己悄悄的坐在角落里聽著流行歌曲。

ps:没想到这个世界还有好多清纯的人哦~~^^❤
你是哪個呢？^^❤
大家~大胆的把答案写出来吧~~~~^^❤