last day contact with each other

i choose to leave my comfort zone in order  to have more challenging life..
but 2nd reason that lead me to this decision was that jerk...
we have great memories before this...
but i choose to believes that he doesn't really love me...
i choose not to contact with each others...
i know he wont find me anymore, he will hold his own principles tight..
i asked him to block me, but he choose not to...instead he said this as our last chat...
: thanks and sorry. if anything u need help, u can find me...
the only things he can help me is to block me..
haha...that is what i told him...
never let me have the chance to find him...but since he cant do it, den i shall do it..
i blocked him, i deleted him..but i know i wont forget his number for meanwhile..
i will never need to watch cctv to see whether he is late for work..
i will never hear the voice of him...
i will never need to hear the sound of his footstep and when he open up shoe cabinet...
we will not have anythings that are necessary to keep us contact with each other...
honestly, deep inside my heart still believe he is a good guy but he is not the right guy for me...
i know if he promise, den he will keep his promise...
i know this apply the same as how he love a gal...
but i m not that women he wanted...
i m just a replacement after all..
my heart seems to be in hospital now...
how long it will take me to recover?

if he loves u, he is a good guy, but if he is not, then he is a jerk

is been one year for me to come back here...
although knowing that friends around are no more in blogger...
but still, like to post story of life here...
nothing much...
just meeting up a jerk..
actually, he is very sweet guy...
just he is a jerk when he doesn't have any feeling to u...
again, meeting up with a leo...
i m always been surrounded by leo..
he said: be careful if u been bite by leo..
but i m just a bottle (aquarius)...leo cant bite me...
den he said: if he cant, den he will spoil u...
ya rite...den he will dump me a side rite???
he agreed..
actually, i know i m not important to him...
include my feelings...
is just a one sided of me...
new friends around say the same things again...
are u a psycho?to keep on hurting urself...
i think so...maybe i really need to meet psychologist...
honestly, when only i can found the one who is going to protect me instead of using me??
honestly, i really have a bad sight of looking on guy..

我。学。会。了

我学会了不去诉苦，
我学会了就算再好的朋友也会对你厌倦，
我学会了累是没有必要跟你无关系的人说， 许然他只不过是朋友。
八年不是那么重要，重点是当我不小心跨了而波坏这段友情。
一切已经过去， 也让我知道原来我是一个让人家那么累的人。
（其实我也很累）
我也学会了不去解释任何事情因为解释也是一件很累的事情。。。
本人是一个很敏感， 固执， 脾气暴躁但我诚实，坦白。
（身边了解我的人都知道我是一个不会伪装自己情绪的人所以我不是合当演员-哈哈）
所以我不介意在我人生中的过客。。。
懂我， 了解我的人是不会介意我的不小心。。。
但是当我觉得你已经对我不耐烦的时候， 我就懂我该这么做了。。。
我会换回给你的自由。。。
谢谢你来过， 谢谢你一路以来的陪伴
很抱歉，我的改变让你累了，但我已经不懂以前的我在你面前是怎样的人了。。。

is just matter about let it go or to carry on the challenges...

although i m not really confident whether i m a good leader or just good in managing,
i plan to go my life slowly and achieve step by step...
learn step by step instead of taking big step forward...
thx for him to clear up my mind...
he is always the 1 who i could discuss in making critical decision...
always the 1 that appear in my mind when i face critical condition...
lucky he does not ignore me...
hehe...thanks again...
---------------------------------------------------------
is last day of 2014,
malaysia isn't in a good condition rite???
too much airplane incident that involve malaysia..
flood that are critical from 1 place to another place...
lots of life fly away just like that...
GST introduction that could be a burden to consumer in malaysia?
government leadership that are isn't bringing much better life to its people...
wish for better 2015...
aja fighting!!!

this year ain't a good year..

so much deaths happening these days...
airplane, car accident, and my aunt death cause of cancer...
just few months back my uncle back, then comes my aunt that death for the exactly 49days now...
but that is the negative site of what i see from this year...
although all this happened, still there is cycle of life happening isn't??
my 2nd sis bring a new daughter to this world...
my result isn't that bad...
learn to self satisfied, do not demand too much, accept what u have... (zhi zhu)
the new semester gonna start in just few days...
is a new semester and last semester...
no matter what happened, i have to be fully concentrated in this last semester so that i could avoid from paying the study loan...
aim for cgpa 3.67 only...
keep it up...
no matter i get it or not (3.67), maintain to be positive mind...
this sem break i choose to not having any job because is a last sem break...
after this is intern life, then will be working life liao...
"aja, fighting"

Ridiculous

suddenly read back my post and found out that i m really ridiculous...

miserable in my living style??

why i found my life ridiculous and miserable???

deep in my heart know that i cant bear it...

my friend ask me before, 

ur life isn't challenging enough...

why dun just accept what that comes to u in ur love world??

this is what i said again:

i know what i dislike, that's why i dun wish to continue...

my mum asking me again,

why i keep someone that does not love me so hard in my heart??

this is what i told my mum:

just let me keep him for few more years...

he is the 1 who makes ur daughter strong...

he is the 1 who motivated ur daughter...

although i know both of us are from different world, and is impossible for us..

aquarius people does not know what they like, but they clearly know what they dislike off...

ur birthday is around the corner again...

happy birthday to u...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

roughly 19 days to go for holiday trip...

exam in this 5th semester seems to go really smoothly...

only concentrate on my own studies sometimes watching movie or runningman with my friends in order to take a break...

eliminate all those unnecessary worries, and outside world...

staying in dorm to study, went out to empty classes alone to memorize...

waiting for result....

although all the papers seems like i know how to do it...

but quite scared that i over confident....

miss him again for this few days....

honestly i dunno why he had such big influence on me..
one of my fren say: try to accept others
but when i had try to accept still he is influence me...
i dun like ppl who just let me the way i m...
i dun like boring relationship....
maybe ppl will feel i m mental sick or hopes on love...
cause sometimes i said to live alone, but at the same times ppl may feel i m keep looking for my prince...
yesterday my fren remind me, after u loose someone only u will know how importance that person is to u...
执着....
he is the one who will make me go forward...
he is the one who will make me feel to be strong...
he is the one who teach me a lot...
maybe need few more years to forget him ba....
i hope i could live in another world....
so that i wont think of him again...
i hope he could find his life partner faster...
i hope he found his happiness....
who could makes me totally forget him???