sometimes fantasy makes people happier than reality...

actually this blog is the place where i release all my unhappy things....
but slowly it become my avoiding place...
avoid is not a solution but however sometime avoid can make me feel better...
let time to flow with it....
sometimes fantasy makes human being more happier than reality...
i like to live in fantasy world now...
live with my superstar....
although i know it wont be real,but at least can makes me happier than live in reality...
maybe it will become a way of avoiding,but at least it makes me happy...
why not???
why i need to change to someone that stress me???
why i cannot be myself??
this few days i dint updates blog because i only updates in the other blogs...
the reason why i updates the other blogs cause i lost my brother last few weeks...
forgotten when....
hehe...

can't,don't want and want

what the difference between this 3 words?
can't,don't want,want....
i hope i can be stewardess but i cant do it rite now....
cause i still studying,and my height doesn't reach that condition...
this is what i want...
everyday study is not the things i want....
that is the things that i don't want....
but i cant stop....
this is because my mother hope in this family got someone that can realize her dream...
she want to saw her daughters or son to get a high education eg:degree post(minimum)...
i cant obey her....
she put a lot of hope on me...
so what i can do?
what i can do now is do somethings that i don't want to do and keep my dream in my heart and mind...
not because i don't want to put effort on my dream...
is because i have the responsibilities to realize my mother dream...
not because i just know how to dream,is i just can dream for it....
that is the only things i can do....

stubborness

stubbornness have ate me a lot...
wish for freedom also killed me for several times.....
again and again same things happened...
today when i ate my lunch,i suddenly have a flashbacks....
i felt i been gone through...
feels very familiar...
maybe i dream this before...
i really don't know what to do...
the last blog yesterday i post,but just for a while i delete it...
cause i scared i will get scold again..
today i also met with my school teacher...
she consult me a lot...
thx very much...
but she also reminds me about the 'essay' i wrote last time...
that really embarrassing me....
whatever thx for everyone that been consult me...

noisy a!!!!!!!!!!!!!

such a sound pollution!!!!
i hate all my surrounding....
i hate them....
even they are my family!!!!
if this computer doesn't exist i will still sleep late....
cause i still have my way to sleep late...
if they force me not having fun in this house i will go outside find my own fun...
i force them wor....
i dint study????
will throw all my books outside????
i'm studying....
1week study 5days...
every morning....
1 week tuition 4days...
did i skip my tuition???
throw my books out???
throw la!!!!
i also don't like to study in form 6.....
i wish i can stay outside...
i don't like been control by people....
family????
what is that???
stay outside??
i'm glad to be there!!!

vteng

today only i found out that he(vteng) written his blog...
poor kids...
after reading his blog i cried suddenly....
although it was in chinese word...
but at least i can read most of the word....
i don't know izzit because of the song he put to make me cry or his story...
but what i can said is your song match to your feeling...
the pic that you put also match to how you miss on her...
waiting for someone that is very suffering for me...
so i wont be same like you....
maybe i dint really love someone before...
but whatever good luck,gambateh, and the most want is be happy...
even you always laugh but please laugh in beneath of your heart...
and i very sorry...
i fail to be your friends..

今天我才发现我的朋友写了blog。。。
可怜的孩子为了爱情。。。
读完他的blog我突然哭了。。。
我不懂他哭了多少次。。。
我不懂是不是他的blog的歌然我哭还是他的故事。。。
我只能说你的歌，你的故事，你的pic都让我感受到了你对她的思念。。。
等待对我来说是一种痛苦。。。
所以，我不会像你一样。。。
或许我没有真正爱过一个人吧。。。
许然你每一次都带着微笑，可是我真的希望你的笑是自从你真正的心。。。
对不起。。。
当了你最没用的朋友。。。。

stupid brother complain again

sometime i really hate my brother....
before this my house doesn't have computer he complain that this house very boring always wanted to go my cousin house...
now this house got computer he complain that this computer not good...
always take windows xp and vista to compared...
maybe they dint remind themselves that this computer we just spend for rm1500....
what he expect for?
so hoping for a computer like my cousin want,spend himself la...
not complain for windows then will complain bout the speaker....
said that speaker no bass...
dint produce a better sound...
he thought his own family is what?
rich family a?
i really cant stand his attitude like this...

movie that seen this few days

twilight!!!!!!!!!
what a best vampire movie....
this movie talks about love between vampire and human being...
the male actress edward cullen control himself not to fall in love on a girl name called bella...
the male actress edward cullen can read what human thought only he cant read what bella thought...
with full of curious on her and protective her with all he can put in...
now maybe there will have the next movie about twilight will on 20th november 2009...
i just wondering will it been released in malaysia or not...
erm,another want is my lucky star 放羊的星星。。。
although it is a old stories but i still like that jimmy lam....
he is so handsome and so cutie...
haha...
even he is now 36 years old....
this stories tell us a lot of type of love in this world...
makes my every family member cried whenever they saw until the main actress because of misunderstanding not together and the male actress force himself to hates the female actress that he loved...
cause he thought the female actress caused the death of male actress brother...
so he keep finding her for revenge and wanted to know what had happening on that accident day....
this 2movie makes me very mad on it....
loves that bring a lot of meaning....
protective,caring and scarification on both sides,all of these just loves and doesn't hope for any rebound from their beloved...
hehe...
anyway, movie is not a realistic world is just fantasy world...
i can only dream for it when i sleep...
caused in real world doesn't exist...
if exist also not belong to me....
so appreciate who you loved...

i don't know my own ability....

last saturday i having my business studies class....
the teacher ask all students..
did you have confidence?
my ans no...
what is your ability?
i said don't know.....
i really don't know my ability...
i don't know what to do after out of studies world...
if i can get into university then i study business admin but i hope to work at air port department....
cause my friends said that department quite high salary...
or i will find company to work...
if i don't get into university then i will try my very best on stewardess...
although i know myself is short...
actually what i really want?
i just hope to work something that is interesting,can study a lot of things and not always doing the same things every time,every days...
i hope to have a busy life so that i wont think rubbish...
this few days hate study...
cause very tired...
and my mum keep on pushing me....
no breath whenever she wanted to start her topic bout studies....
having argument with her this few days...
and cold war now...
i believe just for a while only....

stupid question for muet...

today muet(malaysia university english test) exam...
felt myself will fail....
cause that question ask:
young people break laws,and my task is:sent them to jail,how does it help them...
i really blank....
i don't know what i should prepared before my speaking start...
what come to my mind i just said out...
after that is group discussion...
i like group discussion more than individual....
really wonder what i get for this speaking...
although speaking is over,but final exam is coming...
and muet others exam(listening,reading and writing) is on 7th november....
i really hope i can get bank 4...minimum bank 3....
then i will very happy...
haha...