a sudden thinking...

i think i ed put down ba....
i feel there is no use i kept those memory to hurt myself ed....
maybe some of my friends are wonder why and what he had done???
what i can say is he dint done anything to hurt me...
just i choose to hurt myself...
maybe for others people that don't know me will feel that i'm very pity...
maybe for others people that don't know anything will feel he bullied me...
what i can said is he done nothing to me...
---------------------------------------------------------
today suddenly feel i ed put down...
cause if i keep on hurt myself will making people think that i m weak and pity...
in fact, i m not...
all this while i thought hurting myself is the best way to get rid about him...
but i think is time to change...
good luck and keep moving on....

this picture was taken when i having my college dinner....theme: masquerade...

:: peace >>> life goes on ::

the 5th times i cries because of the same movie

remember i said before in 2009 if i not mistaken...
that was my 3-4 times i watch 1 litres of tears...
this year i intro to my sabah friend to watch (i also watch it for the 5th times)
what i can conclude is i m well control compare to last time....
maybe last time i will cry until very badly but this time only certain part...
guess how about my sabah friend???
she dint even make a tears of this movie...
even my managerial math teacher also said that he cried when he watch the 2nd chap...
she really very strong isn't???
her bf told her that this movie is really very sad even he himself also cry...
maybe 10ppl who watch this also will cry but only 1 or 2 ppl wont....( i guess)
i intro this movie just want to see her cry because of movie but i m not success...
i guess is very hard for me to watch her tears...
----------------------mission failed-------------------------------

trustworthy is the most important for me...

i not sure how readers look on the past blog about something happened that i not sure...
i not sure my friends are talking/comment about me or not...
yet i still feel i m very sensitive about it...
one of my friends said: the most scary things is not ghost but is a pretended human
here i heard again "A PRETENDED HUMAN"
honestly who is the pretended ppl that he mean???
i not sure...
he was one of my important friends in my life...
PRETENDED??
are you talking about me???
or my friend in this college???
if she really pretended den i dunno...
after i heard she said she saw something only i told her on the same night wat i feel...
if she pretended, i really cant get why ???
if you say i m pretended, it means u dint trust on what had happened to me...
and you are trying to said that i m scary ppl.....
cause u feel i m PRETENDED???
i remember last time "HE" also said the same word...(PRETENDED)
fine...
what i will say is, if until i back to klang (23 jun) i dint saw u comment to explain who u mean by PRETENDED, that's it......
if u really mean i m pretended den told me why u feel that???

something happened that i not sure

yesterday night i try to sleep early so that i can wake up to do my studies,
unfortunately, i cant sleep (i know myself reason y)
den i dun wan force myself to sleep so i just wake up and do my homework...
about 4something in the morning i go to sleep....
i not sure is i m too tired, think too much or force myself to sleep...
i feel my head very pain & numb...
i cant feel myself on bed...
i try to open my eyes but is too heavy to opened it....
i hear some songs but i was wonder that time only i m the one havent sleep where the song comes from???
den i feel unwell...
i called up my god names...
den only i can feel myself on bed....
and the song stops...
in the evening,
my malay friends that very close to me told me that yesterday nite she saw something playing with her...
firstly, she thought is another friend that playing chatting in fb but she saw her very concentrate on typing in fb so is impossible...
den she thought is her illusion....
but again it appear....
she close her eyes and faster fall to sleep...
will it be "that kind of things"???
feel very unsafety...
cause my "府" being wash yesterday evening....
and this month is my exam month...
i dint go back to klang until 23 jun...
really hope nothing happened cause i always wake up study at mid night...
i cant study in the evening cause there is too much of problems...