我。学。会。了

我学会了不去诉苦，
我学会了就算再好的朋友也会对你厌倦，
我学会了累是没有必要跟你无关系的人说， 许然他只不过是朋友。
八年不是那么重要，重点是当我不小心跨了而波坏这段友情。
一切已经过去， 也让我知道原来我是一个让人家那么累的人。
（其实我也很累）
我也学会了不去解释任何事情因为解释也是一件很累的事情。。。
本人是一个很敏感， 固执， 脾气暴躁但我诚实，坦白。
（身边了解我的人都知道我是一个不会伪装自己情绪的人所以我不是合当演员-哈哈）
所以我不介意在我人生中的过客。。。
懂我， 了解我的人是不会介意我的不小心。。。
但是当我觉得你已经对我不耐烦的时候， 我就懂我该这么做了。。。
我会换回给你的自由。。。
谢谢你来过， 谢谢你一路以来的陪伴
很抱歉，我的改变让你累了，但我已经不懂以前的我在你面前是怎样的人了。。。

is just matter about let it go or to carry on the challenges...

although i m not really confident whether i m a good leader or just good in managing,
i plan to go my life slowly and achieve step by step...
learn step by step instead of taking big step forward...
thx for him to clear up my mind...
he is always the 1 who i could discuss in making critical decision...
always the 1 that appear in my mind when i face critical condition...
lucky he does not ignore me...
hehe...thanks again...
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is last day of 2014,
malaysia isn't in a good condition rite???
too much airplane incident that involve malaysia..
flood that are critical from 1 place to another place...
lots of life fly away just like that...
GST introduction that could be a burden to consumer in malaysia?
government leadership that are isn't bringing much better life to its people...
wish for better 2015...
aja fighting!!!

this year ain't a good year..

so much deaths happening these days...
airplane, car accident, and my aunt death cause of cancer...
just few months back my uncle back, then comes my aunt that death for the exactly 49days now...
but that is the negative site of what i see from this year...
although all this happened, still there is cycle of life happening isn't??
my 2nd sis bring a new daughter to this world...
my result isn't that bad...
learn to self satisfied, do not demand too much, accept what u have... (zhi zhu)
the new semester gonna start in just few days...
is a new semester and last semester...
no matter what happened, i have to be fully concentrated in this last semester so that i could avoid from paying the study loan...
aim for cgpa 3.67 only...
keep it up...
no matter i get it or not (3.67), maintain to be positive mind...
this sem break i choose to not having any job because is a last sem break...
after this is intern life, then will be working life liao...
"aja, fighting"

Ridiculous

suddenly read back my post and found out that i m really ridiculous...

miserable in my living style??

why i found my life ridiculous and miserable???

deep in my heart know that i cant bear it...

my friend ask me before, 

ur life isn't challenging enough...

why dun just accept what that comes to u in ur love world??

this is what i said again:

i know what i dislike, that's why i dun wish to continue...

my mum asking me again,

why i keep someone that does not love me so hard in my heart??

this is what i told my mum:

just let me keep him for few more years...

he is the 1 who makes ur daughter strong...

he is the 1 who motivated ur daughter...

although i know both of us are from different world, and is impossible for us..

aquarius people does not know what they like, but they clearly know what they dislike off...

ur birthday is around the corner again...

happy birthday to u...

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roughly 19 days to go for holiday trip...

exam in this 5th semester seems to go really smoothly...

only concentrate on my own studies sometimes watching movie or runningman with my friends in order to take a break...

eliminate all those unnecessary worries, and outside world...

staying in dorm to study, went out to empty classes alone to memorize...

waiting for result....

although all the papers seems like i know how to do it...

but quite scared that i over confident....

miss him again for this few days....

honestly i dunno why he had such big influence on me..
one of my fren say: try to accept others
but when i had try to accept still he is influence me...
i dun like ppl who just let me the way i m...
i dun like boring relationship....
maybe ppl will feel i m mental sick or hopes on love...
cause sometimes i said to live alone, but at the same times ppl may feel i m keep looking for my prince...
yesterday my fren remind me, after u loose someone only u will know how importance that person is to u...
执着....
he is the one who will make me go forward...
he is the one who will make me feel to be strong...
he is the one who teach me a lot...
maybe need few more years to forget him ba....
i hope i could live in another world....
so that i wont think of him again...
i hope he could find his life partner faster...
i hope he found his happiness....
who could makes me totally forget him???

death~~~

my uncle (brother on my mother side) had pass away recently...
to be honest last time i m quite envy and felt happiness because of his relationships...
my aunt (his wife) unable to walk properly because they are aging...
remember when their smallest son get married that time, where they are required to go on stage...
my uncle hold my aunt hand tight and strong to become her walking stick to walk on stage...
always take care of his wife...
for me it is a sweet things when growth old...
now, my aunt have to lives her life without him anymore...
it must be very hurt her, while staying together for such a long time, ed used to the existent of each other, how she going to gone through this??
going back soon to the memorial...
life cycle....
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recently watch that Jang Ok Jung...
is quite a nice story based on true story...
no matter how hard girls around try to seduce the majesty, the majesty heart is only belong to his only 1 beloved...
and his beloved heart only belong to him and do accept every blame in order to let him have a convenient in political...
and the majesty trying his very best to protect her, and never let go her...
everyone know the majesty will be in very pain if she die...
but that beloved choose to die although majesty had set up to sent her away...
she coming back to choose death in order to protect the majesty and her son after she confirmed with majesty that he will raise him up to be the great majesty like he do now
the ost song really match it...

What i Beliefs....

i Believes god know what is the best for us...
i Believes god know what happened on us in future...
i know god understand me more than i understand myself...
i know decision making is on us...
we hold the fate changes at the same time i believes everything are destined....
i may superstitious...i know it..
in every aspect, i m trying my best to do all the best i can do...
in every aspect, people may require me only do a 50% afford, but i will do up to 80%...
in every aspect, if i m willing, then i will put my effort on it...
yet only 1 aspect which i dun wish to put was love relationship between a girl and boy...
love isn't everything for me right now...
freedom, achievement, dreams are important for me..
people said that every guy will becomes a kid in front of their lover...
it is common...
but for me, i will observe in what aspect...
cause if every aspect it become my burden...
as my cousin also predict that this relation wont stay long because he feel i m not that in love and does not respecting him nor our relation...
now i understand why...hahaXD...
family love is the only love which cant be broken...
this is what i know...
end of story bout love...
continues assignment... (i must be crazy to do research methodology mini thesis assignment by myself in order to know well in every aspect of the content...lol)
hoping everything go smooth this semester although having 2 new lecturer that i never face or never deal before....