plan to go study liao...

here is my next destination...
kolej teknologi alpha...
they giving scholarship for allowance every month and fee of registration...
plan not to use boss money....
dun wish to been tight in a contract...
however,felt very thankful to my boss that treat me good...
i wish i can find a job that can keep learning and something fresh each time i learn...
actually my acc/auditor keep saying wan to sponsor me to study acc...
cause she plan to leave next year...
she need someone to replace...
what i told her is i cant do it...
come on,my acc are so so so bad...
i really dun wish to do it...
by the way i have no interest in it...

my train seems had stop for rest too long...

again,here i come...
get scholarship from dana pendidikan dr hamzaid...
that dana stated their scholarship will give us allowance rm250 a month...
total course of this studies is rm10000 per year (for 3 years=rm30000)...
they will settle up ptptn loan for us...
once we get den this scholarship will stop...
-------------------------------------------
told my family and boss about this...
mother support,boss not support (normal~~~)
boss said he will fully giving me scholarship but after that i need to work with him...
he said if i interested to study find him and we will discuss about the contract...
-------------------------------------------
recently,my company(hq) start to repair warranty sony set...
where my jobs are increasing,getting headache,getting stressing a lot and a lot...
where i m going to be the fully cs of our set....
here a news spread where a & k is starting to opened up the most hit selling phone(s) authorise service centre...
and said that it will be opened up next month...
-------------------------------------------
to be honest i really not that powerful to split myself into 2 big things,2 different system,others sub system and do it all myself...
i wonder why my boss dint hired anyone...
they ask me to train a old admin staff that is available....
here the problem,
she plan not to work next year...
when i want to teach her,she keep on said busy (she dont wish to learn)....
with a mood of does not wish to work how can i teach her le??
-------------------------------------------
my s authorise service that i sent it all the while teaching me a lot...
he know that i care a lot about my department...
he teach me how to talk to my boss....
he just like my friends...
he said now all the things that i do now,is actually a very higher pose of cs ed...
but what not worth is with that little of salary...
he actually got ask me to go his place to work last time...
he said i m a worker but i care my department just like a boss....
he said i m someone who can think what happen "if" this???
not like his worker,you open a branch got set then do lo...(just concentrate on his repair set)
he kind of pity me...
he said a good point...
the s authorise service centre that soon will be open does not have a experience ppl and connection with s centre ppl...
how we going to get the spare part fast from s centre???
i told him that i may sent to there...
and when we said out all the point...
i think i m the most headache ppl...
i m not only handle dealer & cust,but also boss and technician...
he teach me how to ask my boss to increase my salary...
if he cant give me much den he will intro me to the s service centre...
he said my chance are high...
------------------------------------
what i m thinking now is if i got s service centre did i have to stay there forever to be the 1st line cs??
i think i had said last time that my accountant will sponsor me to study acc if i wan...
i really do not know what i should do,where my interest in...
too many path i had to choose and consider...
i m really tired today...

害怕受伤的我。。。

scare of hurts does it means i will be forever alone???
i dint feel forever alone cause i have friends around me...
although i know that friends wont be forever,but i will still appreciate everyone that beside me...
for the moment i scare of hurts that bring from love...
cause it makes me feel it cannot be lasting...
it seems is not that easy as we said "i love you forever","i love you"
although this 2 words had different of "forever"...
for me "i love you" this word is a kind of "forever" promise...
a guy that said 9th times of darling,saying miss you for 7th times it just makes me feel that guy was playing...no matter how that guy said "i m serious ok"
i still cant open up my heart to believe...
a guy that said he had wait for 2 years to watch movie- it makes me feel it sound like fooling...
sound like all the guys are fooling me isn't???

我，伪装得很好..你，遗忘得很彻底

我很好，
不吵不闹不炫耀，不要委屈不要嘲笑，也不需要别人知道。
我，
伪装得很好，所以没有人知道隐藏在这颗心最深处的伤疤！
一直在练习着微笑，终于变成了不敢哭的人！
是谁捡到了被我丢弃在身后的脆弱?是你还是我生命中的匆匆过客？
而你，把我遗忘得好彻底。
也许某天，
你突然漫不经心的想到了还有一个曾经在你的生命中出现过而又被你伤得彻底的我？
你还会不会心疼我再次被人遗忘？
开始的时候，我就知道，总会终结，
却还是在那个过程中太投入，以至到了最后伤得很彻底！
给你发的信息，每个文字都充满了期待，却也是那么的忧郁！
等了很久、很久，我终于累了，
手指慢慢的在手机键上慢慢的打出我的绝望，
告诉自己：很晚了，睡吧！
要学会放下，才可以迎接新的一天，新的希望！
告诉了你：我困了，不再等你回我信息了，
以后不再打扰你了，好好睡觉吧，
明天还要上班呢，嗯，就这样吧，
然后关机、睡觉（微笑ing^）
爱情本来并不复杂，来来去去不过三个字，
不是“我爱你”,“我恨你”,便是“算了吧”、“你好吗？”、“对不起”。
而我，选择了“算了吧”。呵……多么讽刺啊！
不是我不在乎，而我已经没有多余的力气再去在乎！
因为放手才是对彼此最好的方式！
或许多年以后，我还记得这段感情，
还记得里面有你，还记得当时绝望的气息！
可是不知道，多年以后回想起来，心还会不会痛！
如果当时，我没有把手交给你，是不是就不会有现在的心痛？
我选择伪装，伪装我的在乎、伪装我的疼，
而你，不用刻意去把我遗忘，
却那么的轻而易举的把我遗忘，还是那么的彻底！
多谢你的绝情，让我学会死心！
从来都不相信这世上有真爱，
也从不相信有天长地久，更不相信海誓山盟！
爱？只不过一个字！天长地久？只不过一句顺口溜！
海誓山盟？也只不过是一句谎言！
我多么想问问你，就算真的把我遗忘了，
你还会不会像心疼一个陌生人一样因为我的被遗忘而感到心疼？　　　　
我等了很久很久，这次我要离开你了，比很久很久还要久！
也许某天在喧闹的城市里，
我们擦肩而过，我会停住脚步，凝视着那个正远去的背影，
告诉自己，那个人曾经在我的生命中出现过！
感情的世界里，免不了会受伤，
如果学不会伪装伤口，那就选择遗，
如果不想忘，那就选择痛苦吧！
-----------------------------
i love the story...
hehe^^
copy from http://www.thedaywefindlove.com/2011/06/blog-post_7086.html?spref=fb

maybe still continue working at the field where i m in it now...

yesterday my lady boss asking me about my studies...
she ask me whether i going to continue study or not...
i told her the 1st sem i need to pay rm10000++,2nd sem ptptn only can borrow me money...
and i honestly told her that i dont have that much money and my parents cant even give me that...
so she asking me what is my target???
("actually i dunno")
i dunno what is my target now...
just hope to get a car asap...
earn more money...
that was what in my mind now..
-----------------------------
she said working as admin in her company this area cannot get high salary unless i be sales...
i have a feeling of not suitable face to show her...
den she said if u do not wish to be sales,how about helping her in s service centre that they going to opened up soon...
i was wondering what to do...
if i really help her at s service centre den i wish i can learn to be technician also...
so that i can handle both of it...
no matter is repairing or in customer service field...
am i greedy???
hehe^^

我们都是被上帝咬过一口的苹果

一个盲人，小时候深为自己的缺陷烦恼沮丧，认定这是老天在惩罚他，自己这一辈子算完了。后来一位教师开导他说：“世上每个人都是被上帝咬过一口的苹果，都是有缺陷的人。有的人缺陷比较大，是因为上帝特别喜爱他的芬芳。”他很受鼓舞，从此把失明看做是上帝的特殊钟爱，开始振作起来，向命运挑战。若干年后，他成了一个著名的盲人推拿师，为许多人解除了病痛，他的事迹被写进当地的小学课本。


被上帝咬过一口的苹果　　把人生缺陷看成“被上帝咬过一口的苹果”，这个思路太奇特了，尽管这有点自我安慰的阿Q精神。可是，人生不如意事十之七八，这个世界上谁不需要找点理由自我安慰呢？而且，这个理由又是这样的善解人意，幽默可爱。


世界文化史上有著名的三大怪灰，文学家弥尔顿是瞎子，大音乐家贝多芬是聋子，天才的小提琴演奏家帕格尼尼是哑巴，如果用“上帝咬苹果”的理论来推理，他们也都是由于上帝特别喜爱，狠狠地咬了一大口的缘故。


就说帕格尼尼吧，4岁时出麻疹，险些丧命；7岁时患肺炎，又几近夭折；46岁时牙齿全部掉光；47岁时视力急剧下降，几乎失明；50岁时又成了哑巴。上帝这一口咬得太重了，可是也造就了一个天才的小提琴家。帕格尼尼3岁学琴，即显天分；8岁时已小有名气；12岁时举办首次音乐会，即大获成功。之后，他的琴声几乎遍及世界，拥有无数的崇拜者，他在与病痛的搏斗中，用独特的指法弓法和充满魔力的旋律征服了整个世界。著名音乐评论家勃拉兹称他是“操琴弓的魔术师”，歌德评价他“在琴弦上展现了火一样的灵魂”。有人说，上帝像精明的生意人，给你一分天才，就搭配几倍于天才的苦难。这话真不假。


上帝很馋，见谁咬谁，所以，人都是有缺陷的，有与生俱来的，有后天形成的。既然无法抗拒，又难以弥补，就只有“既‘咬’之，则安之”，从容应对。你咬你的，我活我的，不屈服于命运的摆布，像贝多芬那样，扼住命运的咽喉，或者干脆学学尼采，公开宣布：上帝死了！


上帝又吝啬得很，决不肯把所有的好处都给一个人，给了你美貌，就不肯给你智慧；给了你金钱，就不肯给你健康；给了你天才，就一定要搭配点苦难……当你遇到这些不如意时，不必怨天尤人，更不能自暴自弃，顶好的办法，就是像那个老师那样去自励自慰；我们都是被上帝咬过的苹果，只不过上帝特别喜欢我，所以咬的这一口更大罢了。
-------------------------------------
taken from fb frens...
i like the words of
1)上帝又吝啬得很，决不肯把所有的好处都给一个人
2)我们都是被上帝咬过的苹果，只不过上帝特别喜欢我，所以咬的这一口更大罢了
honestly all the chinese word i not really know but i love this 2words the most...

what i can be???

alright readers,3.am in the morning and i dint felt sleepy at all..
actually,the mood for me to write blog haven't come into my mind yet...
all was just piece of rubbish in my mind...
cant have a focus in it...
------------------------------------------
my result for going into uni is failed to reach it...
my mum also ask me no need to search for private already...
as for myself,i don't know what i want to be now...
always follow what people want me to be for too long..
do not know what i want and what i wish to be....
be a doctor was my dream before but i buried it myself...
cause i do not have confident in it...
run to account class was my regret...
everything was pass nothing to be counted about already...
-------------------------------------------
am i suitable for a office work or outer work such as sales/marketing???
i m inner locus or outer locus???
2nd wish was to be stewardess...
but i don't think i can get into it...(i will still try to go for it)
however,my cousin ask me to have a try on the interview only....
is this 2ambitions is non realistic???
we do not know what happen in the next second..
but this time is regarding bout my future...
should i continue my customer service or trying for pr (public relation)???
all this was inside my mind now and i just wanted to pour it out....
what i need now is time...
time for me to think carefully what i should do...
i can do it....
gambateh!!!

super junior 即使恨也要再来一次.flv

although i think i been outdated with their songs,but i still like this part of the song...
readers,do enjoy it...^^
即使恨也要再来一次-by super junior (honestly i dunno the 2words in front)

maybe i dint know anything and i should not saying ppl like this...

maybe some readers will think i should say until like this cause i m still a little girl...(i mad on fb again)
maybe i dint know what is target and planning...
well,i will find it myself...
and not be a little girl anymore...
be strong,be independent this is what i m now...

what u do does not mean ppl will appreciate it

this few days a words that i learn from my working place(kts) keep flashing on my mind...
although i had stopped my work...
成功者看目标失败者看障碍，昨天我没达到目标是因为我有太多的借口...
this words teach me a lot now....
so i share to a "friend"...
but at last...
what i say in the earlier post maybe i m thinking that i m prefect...
but what i can say is...
i does not feel that...
cause the way is still long for me to go and to reach the life that i want it...
it sounds like i wont get into debts...
but we dunno what will happen...
however,i will avoid myself to get into debts in the future...
way to go,road to take,target,planning,action,prepare for facing questioning in life (problem),pressure that i will give myself and future get it,way to know when to push and pull myself in pressure...all this should settle myself...
be independent,not reliable on anyone,dun wish to ask ppl lend me a hand unless i really cant do it...
so friends,if i ask for help it means i really need help...
dun avoid me that time...
hehe...
although i know i m szb..

target,planning and move on it

what is ur target???
what is ur planning to get success???
what is the next step u going to do to get success???
my success mean to me is simple after i saw a friend being like this situation...
my success will be i have my target and i will take action and go with what i plan...
if until half way there is something block me,i will try to find another way to reach my target...
success for me now is not going to have any debts in life,work harder to solve debts (not by borrowing here and there again and again,choosing and choosing a job again)...
cause if i have debts the best way is to find a work without choosing too high salary ed(know own qualification)...
dun ever think that u study until stpm can get bout 1500/1800 and above...
ur result how???
very good meh???
for me stpm with no good result is will be equal to spm...
spm leaver come out salary should be 850-1000...
this is what in my opinion...
how does the debts comes???
i not sure caused i dint go through....
maybe i born in a good condition family....not too poor,not too rich...
can full fill all my family tummy,and others...
now i wont ask for material things that i cant get...
i learn to get it by myself...
as i say,my target at first in this 2011 is to go uni...(although i know my result are not good)
so i work starting on january...(i had chicken pox right after my exam)
i request salary same like spm leavers salary...
i depend on my ot only i can get into my planning....
so,if i success to go uni here comes my planning and budgeting...
i told myself never ever use FAMA money and wont wait the god will throw money to me...(dream the money falls from the sky)
now i get my toys (notebook)...
honestly,i very very happy the day i bought...
the smile face is just auto show it...(like szb)
cause i use my own money to buy that...
this is my 1st success movement ed...
but i will never feel enough for it...(i wish for better cause my expenses to go uni for me is never ever use my FAMA money)that is me...
what IF i cant get into uni???
the rest money will save it and think of it carefully what i will do next...(but i will never go into debts)
anyway,have to wait for the appeal result again only i can carry on my way...

被保护的感觉

今天看了花样男子第五集。。。
在03.00 开始，那种被保护的感觉我超喜欢的。。。
那个女生渴望有人可以来救救她（可是每次帮她的前辈不在她身边），她可以渴望谁来救她呢？？？
只有剩下那一个开始对她恶劣的前辈。。。（其实那个前辈已经喜欢上她这个平凡的女生）
后来那个恶劣的前辈跑来保护她，抱住她的头说：对不起。。。（那个女生被欺负是因为他）
我超喜欢那一刻被保护的感觉。。。
我猜我的读者朋友们一定说我在发梦，幻想。。。
还有一句forever alone。。。哈哈
如果每一天都给我看这一刻，让我做做梦，让我幻想，我都会感觉到幸福的。。。（就算我活在幻想中）呵呵^^

i dint wish to stop my step....

honestly,i dint wish to stop my step or even go to places that makes me think of it...
i dunno why my brain is thinking of it every time i too free or went to the places that we go together...
busy is a best way to stop me...
but busy is also a way that makes me feels tired easily...(especially being customer service for a handphone shop)....
i was really enjoying to call up supplier but i m not really enjoying to call customer...
cause calling customer make me keep telling myself customer always the rite and i have to gave the best service that i can to them...
although there is a aunt that every time will search for me and buy some snacks for me....
quite miss her now...(i dint work starting on august)
i forget to tell her that i leave...
should find some days to do so...

FAMA always the best.....

Alright,stpm leavers know they are going to uni or not on 15 july...
My mum was worried bout me that day...
after I getting my result that I fail to go,my mum invited my aunt they all to join lunch with us...
Actually,i know that my mum was disappointed yet she try her best not to show it cause she know that i m sad with myself too....
after getting know the result my mum keep telling me that i m not stupid...
i m the most clever in her children...
and she keep giving me a lot of encouraging word and find reason to myself so that i wont sad...
so,i appeal again see whether will be accepted by the government uni or not...
and this time there is only 2options...
i put both at sabah...
really hope can get the result soon...(i dint hope like wat the rumors say is 3rd week of sept only know bout it)...
wish me luck...

你好吗?

你好吗?
Today suddenly have this kind of feeling of saying it....
There is a story that I hope to say in my mind...
Telling how this word is come to my mind repeat and repeat again...
Yet,I feel tired and lazy to say it...
I think is time to sleep...
Hehe...
Let me update again next time...

是幻听吗？？？

last saturday went to give ms khoo registration form for marathon cause my company have number of them would like to join...
so i feel that i have quiet sometime dint go there for drink tea...
so i use my brain memory to sent message where i last time always used to chat with them...
automatically their number are in my brain...
but there is only 3 of them...
i cant use my phone to find the others cause the phone i m using that day was customer phone...
1st said she going *other place*...
2nd said not sure could join...
3rd dint reply me after quite a sometime...
so actually i dun have any mood to do so to others ed...
but finally is still successful to go drink tea because of 3rd help...
thanks...although i know that i have so many reason....hehe...

sunday morning went to eat breakfast with 2guys and 1gal...
den go watch movie with 2guy...*nice movie-dun breaking my hearts*
evening go to tao at sunway giza...*dinner with company members*
at nite join a group that is really such a long time i dint join...
actually i wan to visit that fren house and celebrate with him and to face that feeling...
somehow i feel that there is still a block nor a gap between us...
when he busy taking pic,once i heard that he is calling me...
but i scare that he actually not calling me...
so i dint dare to look at him...*我想因该是幻听*
when we take whole bunch of friend pic,i just feel that is quite a weirdo...
i think this show that we really still need plenty of time...

alright now what???

i cant leave my current company just like that...
i cant leave all my things just like this...
i cant just go without responsibility...
my colleague is going to hospital for check up-always migraine
my boss ask him to resign past few weeks ago (before i leave the company-middle march)
coming a new staff right after my penang trip...
she is much more blur then him...
summore last time had opened up her own phone shop...*unbelievable*
cause she can mix 2different place phone..sony mix with nokia???
omg...
=.=

talking bout my penang trip,i do enjoy over there....
how hope am i to staying in that moment until the end of my long holiday...
and we went to clubbing last night at penang...
1st time going that kind of places...
and actually i also dunno should say is clubbing or pub???
cause i told my family after i back home...
they say is pub...@.@
however,i do really enjoy...
and at penang we going to beach where actually this whole year i should not go near water places....
:(
i only put my leg in the beach,and when i go back home and tell my mum i get scolded...
T_T...
promise i wont go near water again...

my result...

alright my result had taken few weeks ago...
my result are in the middle...
all my friend that take result feel unhappy or sad...
yet i m the 1 who keep on smiling and laughing...
i just dunno why....
my result is terrible almost cant get into uni...(2.17)
as uni minimum requirement is 2.0 where i m in the middle...
heart feel scare and worried that i cant go into uni yet i dint cry out....
optimistic???
i dun think so i m that kind of ppl..

et call me to work with them...
actually now i have quiet a lot of things that is in my hand that i should do...
and et urgently need me...
i will be going to et on april...
as my friend said,this is our long holiday...
we should not find a job that pressuring us so much like where i m in K...
until lunch become dinner condition...
basic salary that not that high...
and bla bla bla...
so i think what she say is correct also...
so the reason why i choose to go et is because of i feel et job i think i know what i should do...
and the job i dun think is pressuring much...
anyway,i still not go in there to work so i dunno what is actually will be going on...
i will do my very best...

stpm result coming out tomorrow...

alright few hours later result is coming out...
and i dunno why i dun have any scare feeling on it...
maybe is because i know there is only 2choices i left...
1st>>>my result is supporting to get into government uni
2nd>>>my results is terrible and i going to society university...(working)
that's all in my mind...
am i abnormal???
or i actually ed know my own result in my heart???
haha^^

2years...how growth am i???

in this 2years that dint have any consultant or guidance that lead me way,how growth am i without you around me???that is a question that i ask myself...

in this 2years,without you all so far i m very fine and used to it...
not to be a girl who always wish for a shoulder nor protective feeling...
this 2years is teaching to be what i should be and what that i told myself to be before i meet you all (what i told myself when i standard 6)...

i remember since when i small i always told myself that without guys i still can live...
without "love" that more than friends i still can live...
that was my concepts on that time...
that's y i feel myself are stronger before meeting you...

maybe that time my friends area are not that wide like i in secondary...
can know ppl who are bigger than me for 4-5years...
so in front of you all i m just a little kid that not yet growth...
how well am i growing without you???
actually this ans i also dunno...

i will just told myself everyday i should growing for a little bit more...
everyday before sleep will think of what things that i does not do well today???
what things that i does not do it until the prefect line that i hope??
what i should do to correct today mistake so that tomolo i wont do the same mistakes again???
how careful should i so that i wont make any mistakes or the same mistakes???
everyday and everyday i thinking of the same question to summarize my today report to myself...

that is how i growing i think???
hehe^^
however,i think i will growth a little and little bit more from mistakes and summarizing...

yes,today is my birthday...

i remember that i will update myself on this day..
alright...here i m...
bout horoscope i really sorry to scorpio woman baby...
cause i had lost 1 paragraph...
will update soon i think...
hehe...

this long holiday makes me very very busy...
as what i hope on it...
i love my life to be busy...
it seems like there is no more reason for me to be lazy...
the company where i m is just near my house call as K...
i at service department for that company about 1month ed...

at first i quite feel ok with my partner because he teach me a lot...
but now i started to hate him because he keep on causing trouble to me...
those phone that is urgently needed by customer he will just follow for once and then he will stop following...
this cause the customer keep on calling and scolding...
i remember few days back he just get a status about the repairing set from supplier he can be so happy and told me "yes,success to follow up for that customer" and actually the supplier told him pending for lcd,board and bla bla bla...
after few days,customer call again to scold cause the phone is not ready for collection...

this job makes me become thinner on my stomach area ed...-according my friend said-
but i getting old...-also is my friend say-
alright,this job i face de problem is unreasonable customer...
today sent in tomorrow want it done...
i really hate this kind of customer...
and i also hate 2 sentences...
what is the problem with that phone?or what is spoiled?
cause this is the only question that i dunno how to ans...
anyway,still have time to learn it...
our company technician is teaching me and helping me a lot...
~alright that is customer problem~

coming to dealer,they actually sometime like to ask about their phone...
problem is that phone is ed been collected by them yet they asking me again...
~piss off~
and some dealer are really unreasonable like customer...
want me to test their phone before sending to them...
dealer o dealer...
u should know that when the service phone is coming back,is back by bunch not 1set only...
are u asking me to test the whole things???
knn u...
~that is dealer~

talking bout branches,
i appreciate to a branch manager that keep giving me work to do...
i really cannot stop not to follow ur case although that phone is ed been a few months ago yet still with supplier...
and i only help that branch now more and more other branches ask me to follow...
even some customer calling to my department and ask for apple(me) for their follow up although i dunno them...

of course when u become a useful ppl,all will find u for follow up...
but i still will did wrong...
when at the same time,supplier give u those phone that after service,sales have no enough and ask me to serve their customer phone that after repair yet i make mistake giving wrong phone to the customer...
causing company trouble...
type wrong imei number...
say wrong about the repairing problem cause the repairing set that not warranty will not give any report bout what they do so we have to think ourselves...
the phone that after repair fall in front of dealer(lucky that dealer is nice person,handsome and i try back the phone in front of him)^^

it seems like i been talking bout my work not myself rite???
haha^^
will update at night...
now is still early...
at night only summarize...
hehe...
happy birthday to myself and thx to all my friends who wish me...